How are you all?
I'm sorry if I've done a lot of journals lately, just a lot of stuffies been going on. ^^
Either way! I've updated my profile a little, it's FINALLY to my liking!
I also put up my commission prices and stuffies with my donation pool, so now I can keep track of them properly to! >u< They are super cheap so please check them out.
On the other hand I've come down with a bad cough and a fever so I'm sorry for being slow with the current art I need to finish hnnng//>n<" A good thing is that I've FINALLY
Have been starting with the replanning of Lupus Voyage! ;u; and I really can't wait until I can start working on it again! The urge of the planning came back when I noticed my lovely friend GoldenIvory
might have come back to DA and I'm practically still exstatic over it!
While a lot of bad stuff has happened these months and I've been a bit down, feeling like if lots of you have either been ignoring me for my lack of talent and responsabillity..</3 QuQ But I have decided to stop sulking! RIGHT NOW!
So what If I can't draw as good as you guys can I seriously DGAF anymore!
I still regretting losing nearly all my art files to a depressive outrage last year and throwing them away T__T But! It's not like if I can find them and tape them back together or undelete them// SO just FAK IT! I'm going to start drawing whatever the heck I want again and I'm going enjoy it to the max! And ignore the fact that you think my art is ugly! Critisism isn't everything! *^* So you guys better be prepared
I have lots of things I still need to train like anatomy, backgrounds, better lines etc.etc., however, I've been so stuck in catching up and getting as good as you guys that I started hating drawing..litterarily.. (not only you're fault, real life issues to) but..Someone once said, if she even reads my journals, she knows who she is (*cough*cookiejoy*cough*)
she said "As long as you draw from the bottom of you're heart, it'll be beautiful in one way or another and it will surely work out", she also taught me that I can't get down on my bare knees and try to fix everything for everyone..I'm the kind of person who wants to help everything and everyone to make them happy but you guys, I can't do it ANYMORE! Of course I'll still help people, but I refuse to feel like a piece of shit just because you drag me down with you! (I don't blame anyone in paticular here, just stating my mind) Of course, I feel sad when my friends are sad, that's natural and I'm happy when they are happy, but putting all my energy on feeling even sadder then they do when they are sad..that's tiering and I can't handle it no longer. I'm not telling you not to tell me when something is wrong, I want to know! I want to help! But I can't live my life hoping to do everything and helping everyone, I will always be there, but I need to stop trying to live through everyones situations with them like a 12 year old child without regret or manners, as I tend to stick my kitty nose in everyones buisness everywhere!! I need to stop, alright?
I don't mean to be rude or anything with this
I just clearly mean that I need to stop dragging myself down just because a lot of people around me are sad. I want to make people smile, not make them more sad then they already are by going down that drain myself.
Lately, I felt left out, I missed all my deadlines for group projects with my friends, I wanted to join the christmas projects on DA this year because I wanted to do something with everyone, but I realized, I don't have the confidence nor the time..Not a lot of you actually take the time to write to me sometimes either haha, I always feel like the starter but end up feeling like a second hand choice when the 'better friends' join in
and I always feel as if it doesn't matter what kind of art I post or have posted because no one will even look at it and it won't matter to them..But now I've realized, it doesn't have to matter to everyone else, because it matters to me, and as long as it matters to me, even if it's my own art and myself, that way it's still important to someone and that is enough to make me continue drawing, even when I'm not some kind of super fantastic pro.
To those who commission me, help me, support me, talk to me and all my new watchers! I want to thank you! I'm ever so greatful!
On another notice! The 18th this month I had my third year anniversary on DA! I am so happy, I made another year! and I can for once say..that even if life is tough..I'm proud of MYSELF!
And I'm proud of you.